torn in two
by starlight.moon.princess
Summary: "Regulus Black is a boy torn in two" / RegGideon, non-linear


**For the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition (Seeker - write about Regulus); the Sherlock competition (The Blind Banker, prompt 6) and the Pairing Diversity Bootcamp (37. chameleon)**

* * *

Regulus Black is a man torn in two.

* * *

It seems almost fitting that he's looking down at green in the last moments of his life.

After all, green is envy and hatred, the Dark Lord and the Dark Mark – and most of all, green is Slytherin, Slytherin that brought him here, to his inevitable death.

Green started this, and it's only fitting that it will be green that ends it.

* * *

The first thing he notices about the man is _red_. It seems to be his defining attribute – it's not only his robes, but his flame-red hair.

Gideon Prewett is red_red_**red**, the complete opposite to him. He's the person that Regulus can never be, and he cannot help but find himself intrigued.

* * *

It is not his mother who starts it all, contrary to popular belief. She would have more than happy had he taken the family line and not gotten his hands dirty.

It's Slughorn who introduces him to everyone – Malfoy, who Regulus barely knows even though he's married to his cousin; Rookwood, said to rising rapidly up the ranks in the Department of Mysteries; McNair, who Slughorn says could one day be Minister. They are the ones who take an interest in Regulus for more than his name, something that has never happened to him before, and before he knows it, he's lost in the sea of snakes.

* * *

_Traitor_, his mind whispers every time he sees in the other man in a more than personal capacity. He's a Black – and Gideon Prewett is the last thing he should care about.

(But his heart also whispers _traitor_ every time he attends a Death Eater meeting, and it's not a surprise that Regulus constantly feels torn between the two defining forces in his life.

He cannot give up either Gideon or the Dark Lord, but neither can he live with both of them.

In some ways, he already knows his death is certain.)

* * *

He's a Death Eater before he meets Gideon, and he cannot help but imagine what would have happened if the events in his life had gone in a different order.

"Meet me here tonight," Gideon whispers to him on the Quidditch Pitch. Their voices are lost amongst the cheers and boos that mark the end of a Gryffindor-Slytherin match, no one paying them much attention in the crowd of people.

* * *

"Do you swear loyalty to the Dark Lord?" Lucius asks.

"I do," Regulus replied before he can think about it.

And then the Dark Lord steps forward and presses his fingers to Regulus' arm, and he is lost in a blurry haze of pain_Siriusforgiveme_**maketheBlacknameproud.**

* * *

Gideon kisses him as he leaves the bed, and neither mentions the fact that he's going to a meeting with the Dark Lord.

Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix – the entire _war_ – have no place in their bed. Here, they are Gideon and Regulus, not a Prewett Order member and a Black Death Eater.

* * *

He doesn't know how they do it, but somehow they manage to avoid meeting in the middle of the battlefield.

* * *

He wishes he had known it would be the last time. Regulus would have done things differently.

Hugged him tighter, held him closer, told him he loved him one more time, never let him go – he doesn't know how, but he cannot help but think that he could have saved Gideon if he'd only tried harder.

He knows that Gideon wanted to die in battle, and he would never have wanted to live without his twin. He knows that Gideon wouldn't have minded dying the way he did.

But – Gideon's gone, and he's taken all the red out of Regulus' life. Regulus is awash in green again, and he doesn't know how to deal with it now that he's seen a different way.

He doesn't know how to live without Gideon anymore.

* * *

Gideon bandages his wounds from the meeting without a word or comment, and Regulus knows he's in love.

* * *

_Traitor, traitor, traitor, traitor._

It seems that's the only thing he can think of himself anymore. He's a traitor of the worst kind, playing both sides but not truly on either.

But- he's also weak, too weak to give either part of his life. so he goes on, and all the while he knows that he's writing himself a recipe for disaster.

* * *

They laugh – _**laugh**_ – when they talk about Gideon's death. Regulus doesn't know how he keeps from throwing up - or worse, killing them - when he hears them talk.

What he does know is that he's finally made up his mind what side he's going to be on. There's no life for him without Gideon Prewett and his blinding hues of red, and Regulus refuses to support the monster who snatched the little joy he had left away from him.

When Kreacher comes back from the Dark Lord's errand with tales of horror, there's a part of Regulus that is relieved.

He might die doing this – he knows that – but it's not like he's truly alive anymore. And if his death means just a tiny bit of revenge against _Lord Voldemort_ – well, Regulus doesn't care what he has to do to achieve that.

* * *

The poison is a sickly shade of green, almost as though it's reflecting the disease that Gideon's death left on Regulus' soul. It's like a reflection of all the horrors Regulus has seen, of the horror he's _become_ –

And drinking it feels like he's purging everything wrong within him.

Bodies pull him down_down_**down**, but he doesn't care. He's no longer a traitor with a soul torn in two. He's Regulus – Regulus_Regulus_**Regulus** – again, and –

There's a blinding cacophony of red, a gentle smile, and a voice that murmurs "I love you" standing right in front of him.

He drinks the poison and finally comes home.

* * *

Regulus Black is a boy torn in two.

* * *

**I hope you guys enjoyed this! Please don't forget to drop a review on your way out :)**


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